10 Years Ago

Long ago, in a universe far, far away, my husband walked out on me and my son. Two days before my son’s 15th birthday, this man came home from work at 4:57 pm, announced to me “I didn’t sign up for this” and was gone by 5:09pm. 10 years later I’m still wondering what he thinks he didn’t sign up for. Isn’t marriage about good AND rough times?

Yea. Not for him. I’m writing this so I don’t forget what he did. In a nutshell, he ruined two lives for a leggy, fake tanned blonde 10 years my junior. Her name is Angela Aslanska, aka Angela Flippo, aka Angela Dawn.

I have no compunction about posting her name, since nothing posted here is libel. It’s all truth and I have the documentation proving it.

My ex remarried in 2011, and is divorcing again. I had thought he learned his lesson about cheating and lying his way through a marriage, but I’m thinking, and for good reason, that he learned nothing. I can’t post my reasons because, while experience, logic and knowledge of my ex’s spectacular lack of honor tell me I’m right, I can’t prove it. Intuition.

I have very good reason to keep that clusterfuck of a divorce right smack in front of me. My ex is a charming and handsome man. He’s also wealthy, and he talks a great line about accountability, but if he were to believe his own words, I would not have been living lower than poverty level for three years. I’d have retirement, and my future taken care of. He did, after all, take a vow. It’s not like he just broke a promise. He broke a vow, destroyed two lives, is aware of my situation and says all the right things about accountability.

I notice his avowal of accountability doesn’t extend beyond the verbal.

I’ve spent 10 years trying to get past the pain of his betrayal and the encouragement Angela Aslanska gave him so that he WOULD leave. I read the emails.

I really wonder if he left his second wife for this discredit to our gender. If he did, it sucks to be him, because she will never commit to him. She’s managed to control him and slither just out of commitment range for probably 25 years.

I don’t pity him. He’s been chatty lately, and quite nice to me. I MUST remember the pain he caused. I MUST remember that he married me thinking he could get out of it if he didn’t like it. I MUST remember the emotional abuse he perpetrated and the poverty I’ve endured because of his choice. I must remember, above all, that he destroyed the emotional life of a 15 year old boy who loved and idolized him. I MUST remember that he destroyed this boy’s life because Angela Dawn Aslanska led him to believe it was okay to do so. It’s all in the emails. He thought he was going to ride off into the sunset with her. He never noticed that she would deftly change the subject while still subtly encouraging him to leave. I have my own beliefs about her, but I can’t voice them because I don’t have psychoanalytic documentation.

I MUST REMEMBER that he is a weak man.

Im not usually this forthcoming with identity of anyone. In this case I feel justified, regardless whether there is true  justification.

Whew. Stick a fork in me!

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “10 Years Ago

  1. I was too “noble.” I didn’t think I deserved it, when the reality was and is, that I deserved far more than I sued for. I had every legitimate expectation of living comfortably and without worry for the rest of my life. I had legitimate expectation that my son and myself would not be treated as disposable. He disposed of us, and got off easy. My bad. Never again.

  2. Is this her?? Blonde with a great chest – at the risk of making judgmental generalizations, no wonder she (apparently) feels like she doesn’t need to treat anyone with consideration or honor :-\

    Maybe any men reading this can resolve my puzzlement: why does a man make a marriage vow when he knows damned well he’s not going to be monogamous and that that lack of fidelity will hurt others?? Is it NPD?? A phenomenal lack of empathy/compassion??

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s