If You Feel Stupid…

…and were involved with a Narcissist, know that stupid is exactly  how the N wants you to feel.  Know that and allow yourself the luxury of mourning what might have been, had the individual been different; mourn the illusion, but then dry your eyes, know you’re NOT stupid and move on.

When you feel stupid and naive, it’s because that’s how the N has set things up.  You were never “good enough” for him or her.  You were nothing more than a mirror and at some point you start reflecting his or her poor qualities.  You didn’t act your part, you bad mirror.  What happens to mirrors that don’t reflect correctly?

They get discarded.  They get thrown away.

Keep your eye open.  Don’t give your heart to someone until you have dated them (not slept with them, not made out with them, not played house with them) for months.  Watch the person.  Be alert for behaviors that seem odd.  Be alert for all the characteristics inherent in NPD.

Remember this, as you date:  All of us exhibit some qualities of narcissism, but it’s not a way of life for us.  True narcissists use, abuse and live their narcissism.  Don’t ever forget that as you journey through the murky waters of the dating pool.  🙂

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2 thoughts on “If You Feel Stupid…

  1. Funny to read this now- just yesterday had a customer say that a guy from her church had been calling her. A friend there suggested they might be a “good match”- but now she’s put off that he keeps calling, texting, etc…even though she’s told him she has a lot on her plate right now & very little time for anything else. I gave her the name to Google of one of my favourite NPD sites, Joanna Ashmun. I asked her to please just read it & keep it in mind if she ends up spending any time with this guy. I don’t know why, but the things he’d said to her (she recounted some) just had that “off” quality to them, if you know what I mean? The thing NPD’s do that are supposed to make you feel bad for not being at their beck & call, that sort of thing?

    And this woman seems genuine & sort of “easy-pickings”~ if this guy is an N…oh brother…

  2. Ya this is interesting, I found that I didn’t realize how stupid I felt until I started failing classes at school and stopped even voicing my opinion. It’s funny how My ex (NPD) talked so highly of himseld when really he have absolutely nothing, but somehow I believed him! Thought he was so amazing and successful and it’s crazy how opposite that actually was. He was also a good liar ….Incredibly good it’s scary. He talked like he had thought it for years. I thought he was in denial about everything because his lies added up to not making sense anymore but since I was so beAten down from being with him too long(any time with a narcissist is too long btw) but this was 10 months, I thought I was stupid so kept believing him. But one thing I have to say is I know he wasn’t in denial, I know he knew the truth because he looked left every time and scratched his nose. Narcissists have no soul I don’t believe, heartless and unable to receive or give love in any way. I love this blog btw! People understand how hard it is. I feel stupid for saying this but I still miss him after 3 months. He made me feel like I needed him and out of all I breakups, this has been the hardest to let him go. I don’t think this anger will ever go away. He literally destroyed me. This blog will help me build myself up again. Thanks 🙂

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