Narcissism In The Work Place – Redux

I see a lot of search terms in my stats that include “narcissim in the work place”  and “how to spot narcissism in the work place.”

The first and best bit of advice I can provide is this:  It’s just as difficult to spot it, initially, as it is in personal interactions.  Narcissists abound, within and without the workplace.  So be aware; prepare not only for the technical aspects of your interview, but have a small list of characteristics beneath your note-taking page to remind you what to look for.

When you first interview for a job, you’re usually so excited that you got the interview, and you’re so focused on doing your best in that interview that you don’t notice body language, tones of voice, and/or certain other behaviors that could be dead giveaways that you are interviewing with a narcissist.

Before I discuss that, though, let me say this:  If you are interviewing and/or work in corporate America, you can bet your sweet little bippie that you are surrounded by narcissists.  Perhaps your department isn’t rife with them; perhaps the individual in the cube next to you isn’t one.  You can rest assured, however, that at some point, you WILL run into one.

I suggest you first read this post.  It will open in a new tab.  Read it before you go on an interview.  Read some of the other posts I have here on NPD and Narcissists.  That won’t guarantee you won’t wind up working with a narcissist, but forewarned is forearmed.

As a rule, you don’t recognize a narcissist until they’ve already damaged you.  The average non-NPD simply doesn’t think the same way a narcissist does, and many of us have experienced the devastating fallout that comes from working with a narcissist, to the point of losing our jobs.

Narcissists will win.  Even if you manage to block a move or two, they will manage to tap dance around you, and the abuse will escalate.

Even in these tough times, I advise getting out if you find yourself in a nest of narcissim, or if you are working with one powerful enough to destroy you.  You’ll know, because your stress level will be intolerable, you will find that you are questioning your sanity where you never did prior to working with this individual and you will find that you have become grist for the rumor mill.  You go in as grain and you never come out . You simply keep getting ground.

It is better to be poor and have your self-esteem intact; to be happy with who you are, than to be financially comfortable and in constant fear for your sanity, health (stress will kill you), and miserable.

We all have choices.  Some may seem very painful at first and we don’t like pain.  No one does. Sometimes the most painful choices are the ones that are best for us and our families.

Jus’ sayin!

 

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4 thoughts on “Narcissism In The Work Place – Redux

  1. “Narcissists will win. Even if you manage to block a move or two, they will manage to tap dance around you, and the abuse will escalate.”

    Oh, you bet they will- and they will do so effortlessly, all the while making you out to be the crazy/unstable one, to boot…It’s truly amazing- and I’d be in awe of their ability…if it weren’t so horrible & destructive to everyone around them, that is…

    Unfortunately, trying to warn people about NPD is pretty much a lost cause. As you say, it’s not something most folks will grasp until they are a victim. They will think that the person in question is just “hard to get along with”, or “exacting”, or “fill-in-with-whatever-suits you”- anything that seems to explain why they’re getting such weird vibes from the NPD they’re dealing with. That’s the trouble, you see- the rest of us don’t work in the world of the NPD’s twisted “logic”- so we try to unravel their behaviour from a thoughtful/feeling perspective. This will never work &, in fact, causes the NPD to attack harder as they see you trying to use feeling (which they envy) in order to approach them.

    All I could think while reading this is how perfect it must be to be an NPD in this horrible economic climate? Just imagine, all those poor slobs who will endure anything, just so they can keep paying their mortgage? A captive audience…

    • Tracy, you’re right. I know a few of those “poor slobs” who will endure anything just so they can keep paying their mortgage. It’s also an exercise in futility to warn people about narcissists because they simply won’t believe that their loved one could possibly be so evil…until they DO believe it. By that time, though, the damage is done.

      I’d write more, but I’m cranky because I was awakened from a dead sleep by the dulcet tones of a cat yakking up a hairball and now two cats are clamoring for food, which they won’t get, since they were fed two hours ago. Back to bed. This move is exhausting me! More later. (probably after Dec 3, when I’ve moved!)

      Hugs, ladybug!

  2. Pingback: Two Great Blogs on Healing from Narcissism/ASPD Relationships « Phoenix Rising

  3. Pingback: Idealization, Devaluation & Discarding- Being Put on a Pedestal and then Dumped by a Narcissist « Phoenix Rising

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