Allison, whose blog is Pieces of the Heart, wrote the following as a comment to my post : Narcissists Fold Spindle and Mutilate. I thought it was worthy of its own post because it is full of the wisdom of experience.
Leaving an abusive and/or narcissistic relationship is difficult and once gone, an individual can many times be presented with an issue that is almost just as difficult to deal with: that of “outcast mentality.” Leaving the abusive relationship doesn’t mean the abuse magically vanishes. It simply diminishes. It is up to us to make it stop.
I don’t want to write too much here, other than to let you read Allison’s reply to my post. This is a woman who has chosen her battles and has won or is winning the war.
“Not being accepted after leaving these types of relationships causes greater “outcast” mentality. When I finally pulled up my bootstraps and decided for a better life, it took me a while to really understand that I was not all the things that had been said to me in those non-relationships and by those who judged my decisions. The ONE thing that kept me centered through obstacles and continued abuse, even after I separated myself from it, was seeking a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, my higher power. I learned that I was truly loved, NOT from what someone told me, but from what I understood from a thirst to know. I researched and studied the Bible on my own, so I would know the truth personally.”
This comment could only have been written by someone who has sought the truth of her situations and came to personally know that truth. Learn the truth so you will know it, personally.