…and watch me run…
These are the ten best (worst) lines I’ve heard from men at the end of a FIRST date, and each date had gone very well, with great conversation, no sexual innuendo, lots of witty banter, delightful light-weight debate, and/or deep historical or philosophical discussions. Each man is a “powerful” man within his field. I dated two of them, one was my N, and the other was the grand passion of my life – the man who just let me be me and encouraged me to become the artist I am. He was the musician. That man is so deep in my soul he will never leave and when I’m old and look back on my life, my experiences with him will be one of the huge highlights of my life. Smooth operater, yes, but he was what I needed at that time, and he was ALWAYS there when I truly needed him. The others all have spots reserved in the 9th level of hell.
1. Corporate Executive:
“Can I have your panties?”
But wait! There’s more! As I backed quickly away from him, scraping my jaw along the ground, he says:
“well, if I can’t have your panties, will you follow me home and lock me in a male chastity device?”
2. Corporate IT Guy at Executive Level:
“when I am with you I feel like I am talking to a friend seasoned by years of spending time together”
Excuse me? That was a first date. What other time has he been with me?
3. Self Made Millionaire:
“you’re gorgeous. I’d love to see you 20 lbs lighter.”
Uh huh and I’d like to see your IQ 20 points higher.
4. World Renowned Musician:
“your eyes have the sun in them. I look and I’m dazzled. When you are gone I will think of them and carry the sun in my pocket like a fiery hot coin.”
(oh yeah, I dated him. He was AMAZING! He was also a “weekend” fling, every other weekend for 6 years and is now one of my best friends. I adore him. He found a great woman to marry. She’s perfect for him – she doesn’t fall for poetic bullshit. hahaha. )
5. Corporate CFO:
“When I look in your eyes I see such innocence, such love, such laughter.” (no – didn’t date him.)
6. Local Artist:
“you just don’t have the aesthetic I need for you to be my muse.”
Translation: “I don’t find you attractive.” NEXT!
7. Corporate IT Executive (I’m thinking I need to stay away from corporate types)
“It’s hot out here, but not as hot as you are. That’s not a roll of quarters in my pocket.”
8. Corporate Software Architect:
“I think I just found my next wife. I have next Friday off. Let’s go to Vegas!” (he was serious.)
9. Local Small Business Owner:
“I’ve never said this on a first date, but I love you. I knew it the minute I saw you. I want to hold you, take care of you, and make every care you’ve ever had go away.” (shudder!)
10. Corporate CIO:
“I’m so glad you have an IT background, because that means you won’t think my collection of Japanime porn is weird.”
I walked away without saying goodbye and walked so fast I was almost running.