Wait – I Told him “No,” FOUR Times. N? Probably

Even though I hid my profile on Match, I got an email from someone who had, by his accounting, liked my profile so much he copied it into word, along with my photos.  Even though I’m hidden, he can still email me.  So I got an email from him two days ago.  In it he said he “honestly feels that we have made a kindred friendship” through our profiles.  He wrote a very long email, and it was full of red flags.

First, how does my profile provide him with a feeling of “kindred friendship?’  Second, he immediately wanted to shift to phone, without yet receiving an email from me and provided his phone number.  Third, when I replied, thanking him for the email and telling him that I wasn’t interested in dating right now, and that I probably wouldn’t call him, he shoots back an email telling me that he’s “so excited” about my profile, that it’s “refreshing” and seems “down-to-earth” and he’d really like it if I called him that night.  Fourth, when I replied to let him know I would not call him that night (I wanted to see how far he’d go with this), he sent back an email justifying his wish for me to call him that night, since it was “better” to talk sooner than later.  I explained to him briefly, again, that I wasn’t interested in dating and that’s why my profile was hidden. I again told him that I wasn’t going to call.

His next email said:  “Well, then call me tomorrow night when things are more settled for you.”  HUH?  I didn’t tell him things were unsettled.  I simply told him I wasn’t dating right now and that I wasn’t going to call.  I replied again:  “Thank you for your interest, but I’m not going to call you.”  (I’m still seeing how far he’s going to take this.)

So then he replies that if my concern is financial (HUH?) he’ll be happy to pay for everything when we meet this weekend.  Excuse me?  How did he jump from my email that said “thanks but no thanks” to “I’ll pay for everything when we meet this weekend?”

So now I’m curious.  I replied: “I am not going to call you, I’m not dating, my profile is hidden because I DO NOT WANT TO DATE, and we won’t get together this weekend.”

He replies with a gushing apology for “rushing” me and then launches into a dissertation on how he “understands” that I’ll need this weekend to ride out the hurricane.

I made no reply.

Another email comes through:

I really feel the start of a potentially wonderful new “something” between us (hard to explain at this point), and the absolute last thing I want to do is scare you away because of my perceived overzealous actions…by nature, I am not the most patient person and, looking back, I now feel I was being too pushy yesterday and I don’t want to come across that way …at this point, I need to slow myself down and just let it happen or not.

I hope you understand the spirit of this note to you and where I might be coming from

Okay, let’s look at this.  I have a pretty good idea where he “might be coming from.”  I’ve told him “NO” in four emails.  I haven’t given him any details about myself.  We have had no real conversation in email, let alone telephone.

Yet…he feels “the start of a potentially wonderful new ‘something’ between us”  and it’s apparently “hard to explain at this point.” 

I’m reading control freak.  I’m reading desperate.  I’m reading RUN LIKE HELL.  I’m not replying again.  Yes, I baited him by replying three times that I was not interested in dating, because that’s what I’d done with the N.  The N persisted in much this same way.  So because I’m seeing this, AGAIN, I’m shutting him down.  No contact, no more emails, and blocking his ass on Match.  I’m not sure what else I can do besides hide my profile.  It doesn’t show up in searches when it’s hidden, but for someone who has copied it to Word, along with my Match name, it’s not rocket science to figure out how to email a profile that’s hidden.

This guy is scary.  He downloaded my freaking profile and photos!  He’s had them for at least a week, since I hid my profile a week ago, sitting on his computer where he can indulge his insane fantasies.  Is he receiving some sort of N supply simply from reading my profile?

I’m gonna say he’s a disorder.  He may be N.  He may be something else; something worse.  He won’t be someone I allow back in my email, as I was just able to go out to Match and block him.   He doesn’t have my personal email address, thank god, and if he’s blocked, he shouldn’t be able to email me through talkmatch.com

Shudder.  I’m thinking online dating sites are simply full of crazies.  I’m told that I attract them because my profile presents a person who is grounded, successful, confident, giving, nurturing, etc., which is what an N really WANTS to be.

Whew!  I’d rather stand out in Hurricane Irene than meet another N.  Heading for the hills now!