Check out this article on self-love and narcissism. The question is asked (and answered) “is it necessary to love oneself before one can love another human being?” There’s self-love and self-esteem and the two are different. Pop psychology propaganda tells us “ya gotta take care of number one!” and “you can’t love anyone else until you love yourself.” I’ve always had an issue with that. I’ve always believed that we love ourselves best by loving others.
Take a read:
And take a look at the post on AlwaysJan’s blog: She nails it:
I don’t want to generalize millions of people, and I’m certain this will sound like I am, but after seven years on dating sites, I’m convinced that they are largely populated by narcissistic men. I can’t speak for the women, since I don’t date women.
Things to watch out for when interacting with someone on a dating site:
1. If you tell them you aren’t interested and they insist, odds are good they have issues.
2. If you find them making assumptions about you and you’re wondering where those assumptions came from, odds are good they have issues.
3. If you find them making demands (cloaked in good humor and a wheedling tone), odds are good they have issues.
4. If you meet someone, start seeing that person regularly and find s/he is still trolling dating sites, odds are good they have issues.
5. If you find your profile being viewed over and over again by someone to whom you said no, odds are very good they have issues.
Do not EVER give out any personal information on a dating site. Don’t give it in email. Don’t allow anyone to pick you up at your home and don’t give your phone number if a man asks for it. A man who is courteous will offer his number. Block yours before you call his.
Trust me on this: All that is needed is a phone number or an email address and someone can find you. Don’t give your last name until you’re certain you want to see more of this person. Don’t tell them where you work, don’t talk about family, where that family lives, and don’t meet someplace that’s too close to your home. When you meet, park your car someplace where your date can’t see it, because if you don’t like that person, or are weirded out in some fashion, you don’t want them to know what you drive or get your tag number.
Sound paranoid? Take it from someone who’s been stalked. Don’t do ANY of these things.