I Love Me I Love Me I Love Me – The Disease of Conceit

Check out this article on self-love and narcissism.  The question is asked (and answered) “is it necessary to love oneself before one can love another human being?”  There’s self-love and self-esteem and the two are different.  Pop psychology propaganda tells us “ya gotta take care of number one!”  and “you can’t love anyone else until you love yourself.”  I’ve always had an issue with that.  I’ve always believed that we love ourselves best by loving others.

Take a read:

Does Self Love Lead to Love for Others?

And take a look at the post on AlwaysJan’s blog:  She nails it:

Narcissistic Game Playing

I don’t want to generalize millions of people, and I’m certain this will sound like I am, but after seven years on dating sites, I’m convinced that they are largely populated by narcissistic men.  I can’t speak for the women, since I don’t date women.

Things to watch out for when interacting with someone on a dating site:

1.  If you tell them you aren’t interested and they insist, odds are good they have issues.

2.  If  you find them making assumptions about you and you’re wondering where those assumptions came from, odds are good they have issues.

3.  If you find them making demands (cloaked in good humor and a wheedling tone), odds are good they have issues.

4.  If you meet someone, start seeing that person regularly and find s/he is still trolling dating sites, odds are good they have issues.

5.  If you find your profile being viewed over and over again by someone to whom you said no, odds are very good they have issues.


Do not EVER give out any personal information on a dating site.  Don’t give it in email.  Don’t allow anyone to pick you up at your home and don’t give your phone number if a man asks for it.  A man who is courteous will offer his number.  Block yours before you call his.

Trust me on this:  All that is needed is a phone number or an email address and someone can find you.  Don’t give your last name until you’re certain you want to see more of this person.  Don’t tell them where you work, don’t talk about family, where that family lives, and don’t meet someplace that’s too close to your home.  When you meet, park your car someplace where your date can’t see it, because if you don’t like that person, or are weirded out in some fashion, you don’t want them to know what you drive or get your tag number.

Sound paranoid?  Take it from someone who’s been stalked.  Don’t do ANY of these things.






5 thoughts on “I Love Me I Love Me I Love Me – The Disease of Conceit

  1. Hi,
    Thanks for linking to my post. Actually my blog is planetjan at wordpress (or .com). This advice is so true. When a woman said NO to my narcissistic friend, he would push all the harder. It was, indeed, a game.

  2. Oops – got your blog wrong. Well, I linked it right, though. 🙂 I think. Let me check. I was told by a friend who spent years being stalked by an N that it’s best to keep my friends close and my enemies closer. She meant that I needed to keep an eye on him without him knowing, so I might be able to judge his state of mind, since he has exhibited some stalking behaviors recently. I’m not sure what good that will do me, but his dating profile is public, on three sites, and he’s furiously seeking new supply. I check randomly, when I think of it, and each time, without fail, he’s on all three sites at the same time.

    I said No to my N, and he just ignored it, pretended I didn’t say it and because he’s an N, had to have the “last word” so he could convince himself he’d done the dumping. Whatever.

    While I pity the woman who falls for him long-term, I’ll be happy for him NOT to be thinking about me, on any level. There’s discarding and then there’s discarding. He’s proved over the past few weeks that no doesn’t mean no to him, and that he’s having more fun attempting to devalue me than he would by totally discarding me. Once he finds someone new, he won’t give me a second thought though. That’s an exciting prospect for me!

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