Hey Guys! Did You Know That Wearing a Ball Cap in Your Photo…

…automatically lowers your IQ by about 50 points?

I closed all my profiles, but Match still keeps mine open until my 3 month subscription runs out in October (at which time I will BE on their ass like the proverbial flaming bag of dog poop if they auto-bill me for another 3 months, since I cancelled the subscription a month ago!).  I’ve been getting lots of “winks” from guys in ball caps.  I’ve been getting emails telling me that God has told men in ball caps to marry me.  A man in a ball cap emailed to let me know he wanted to shower me with rose petals and massage baby oil into my feet.  A man in a ball cap who I suspect is Nigerian told me he would love to meet me, if only he could find the money to get to America to do it.

A man in a ball cap with his arm around a slinky blonde too old to be his daughter emailed to tell me I was invited to his tailgate party.  A 26 year old man (I’m 49)  in a ball cap that had “IWFU” embroidered on the front emailed to tell me how “hot” I am and that he didn’t know a woman as “hot, sexy, and intelligent” as I am lived in my city.  Can you guess what “IWFU” means?  I can…

Boys, wearing a ball cap in a primary, okay in ANY online dating profile photo, causes me to immediately click past your profile.  I don’t even read it.  That  sound I just heard might have been YOU, my knight in shining armor (and ball cap) thundering down my street on a well-caparisoned charger, but if I’d been interested enough to take a look, the ball cap on top of your helmet would have immediately sent me for a camera so I could post your photo on Facebook for my weekly caption contest.

Ball caps in online dating profile photos mean TWO things to me:

1.  You’re bald and ashamed of it.

2.  You’re too stupid to realize that wearing a ball cap in an online dating profile photo assists with the presumption that you’re bald and ashamed of it.

Men who wear a ball cap in an online dating profile photo are the equivalent of a woman with a big dog sitting in her lap while she peers out from behind the dog and smiles oh-so-coyly into the camera.  Like the big dog, the ball cap is hiding something, and that something may be a lot more than a lack of hair.

Jus’ sayin’!

I also think it’s really interesting that one of the suggested tags for this post was “Ohio.”  Amazing.  Two of those men WERE from Ohio.


3 thoughts on “Hey Guys! Did You Know That Wearing a Ball Cap in Your Photo…

  1. If you really want to delete yourself from match, you have to take down your profile. This is a cumbersome process, which I forget how to do, but it can be done. That’s the only way you’ll be able to stop balding men in ball caps from winking at you.
    Good luck. BTW – I think half the men who do this – wear ball caps and wink – aren’t paying members of match and wink because they can’t send messages. If you read their profiles, you’ll see that a lot of them try to disguise their email addresses in thieir essays! So, they’re saying “I’m cheap and I’m bald, here’s my email address – you contact me, and send a picture, if I think you’re worthy of wiping the sweat off my bald head, I’ll write back to you.”

  2. I forgot I could hide it. I just went in and did that. 🙂 The emails were amusing, but I’m of the opinion that dating sites are just a waste of time. I have yet to meet a man from any of the three I’ve used who isn’t in over his head with baggage, intimacy issues, disorders, and a host of other things too ugly to dredge back up.

    I’d rather be alone than in a bad relationship. I get lonely, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone, but I’d rather do that than expend all the time, energy and money necessary to “date.”

    If I bump into Mr. Right in my daily travels, great. If not, I’ve got plenty to keep me busy and happy.

  3. Pingback: 6 Photo Tips To Keep In Mind When Doing Online Dating | adobe photoshops

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