Narcissistic Personality Disorder, NPD, (or “You’re Being Punished You Bad Mirror!”)

Hey!  Guess what!  I got THIS gem in my email today.  I  went in and stopped his outlook rule from running just to see if he’d send another email.  Sure enough, this came in today.  I’m wondering how many others he sent that I missed.  No I’m not.  Names have been stripped out to protect the “innocent.”  Boy, if I thought I could get away with it, legally, I’d plaster this blog with this man’s full name and all his dating site names to warn women.  I can’t do that, though.  But here’s something to make you laugh, cry, or just snort in disgust:

Subject: Today
Date: Mon, 15 Aug 2011 16:05:06 +0000
From: his email here
To: ‘my email here

Good Morning,

I had thoughts (on the way to work) of trying to call later today.  I don’t know if it has been three weeks or not as I did not set a calendar note but enough time passed and I felt safe.  (he felt “safe.”  That’s key, people.  He felt I’d been “punished” enough and now he could safely assume I was ready to be a good little mirror for him.)

On our last email, I asked you to give me space for three weeks.  (No he didn’t.  He demanded that I send him one more email, told me how long I would be banished from his magnificent presence,  what that email would say and then told me how I was going to feel, and then said “maybe” we could be “friends.”  Asshole. Liar.)

You agreed but I doubted you would stop so I applied a rule to your email addresses to direct your email to the delete folder as I really did not want email from you for afore mentioned reasons.  (liar.  he read all 3 of them.  One where I wrote “agreed”, another where I was told by the police to make sure I sent him an email stating he was never to come to my home again, and a third, which I sent yesterday, telling him he’s an empty asshole.  It felt good, too. He also didn’t want to read anything from me because it would tell him just what an empty vessel he is, but the REAL issue here is about “rules.”  He set them for me all the time, didn’t tell me about most of them, and then goes and tramples MY boundaries like they don’t exist – because for him, they don’t. )

Since on the way to work today I considered calling you {later as I know you often sleep in} I sorted my deleted mail to see if you continued to write further despite my request. (he expounds upon his lie.  And if it wasn’t a lie, it was a control measure, total manipulation.  Either way, it’s N N N N N.  And look, he has to TELL me all about how he thought he was going to call me (reward me). 
Indeed you had = No means no so I gotta go. (hahahaha.  Um – I’m guessing “no” means “for right now.”   He’ll be back.  And I’ll ignore him. 

I did not read your emails  for fears from prior attacks. (I bet he DID fear.  He feared being reflected as the hideous human being he is)

I am writing because I said I would contact after three weeks and I like to keep my word. (but it hasn’t been three weeks.  It’s been 2. Oh wait.  Rules don’t apply to him. And he doesn’t like to keep his word, he wants everyone else to THINK he likes to keep his word.  He has no clue what keeping his word means.)

I am also writing because I do not want you to waste your (what I consider to be valuable) time in writing me again.  (Translation:   “I am also writing because I wanted you to know just EXACTLY what you are missing and that the reason I’m not calling you tonight is because you didn’t obey me, you bad mirror.  It’s YOUR fault I’m not calling you tonight.”     Look how he intimates that I don’t consider my time valuable by stating that HE does (parenthetically).  

Best wishes and take good care.  (Translation:  See how kind and benevolent I am?  See what you did?  You lost the best man you could have ever had because you didn’t obey me.  I’m even nice enough to say “best wishes and take good care.” )

This man is just taking up valuable airspace that others could breathe.  Is there a way we can get him to suck himself into his own black hole?  



3 thoughts on “Narcissistic Personality Disorder, NPD, (or “You’re Being Punished You Bad Mirror!”)

  1. Good riddance, you’re better off without him. Completely ignoring him is the only way to go. I must remember that line, I can use it on my ex, if he ever tries to contact me: You’re a black hole and I wish you’d just suck yourself into yourself.

  2. I wish I could say I was astonished at that email, but I’m not. Not at all. And the thing is, he’ll be back. He’ll go through a few more mirrors and start trying old ones again. He’ll think that the lack of contact between us is HIS idea and he’ll try to charm his way in again. That’s the point where things become dangerous for me, so I have to be vigilant with myself not to allow it. He’s a nothing. He’s so empty his bones rattle around inside him.

  3. My fiance recently ended our engagement. He told me that we are near perfect, really close, but not quite right and he wants to search for his ideal partner. Here is what he posted on FB to the world.

    I’m an asshole. I’ve broken off my engagement with [name]. I don’t want or deserve sympathy. Please give it to her. I’ve hurt her badly with this. She has reacted physically – unable to eat and sleep. Her emotions range from love and despair to hate and rage. It was my decision to make and I made it to honor my own doubts and fears, but I must acknowledge that I’m also doing this to her. That’s why I’m an asshole. Further, my decision corresponded with a small (insignificant) fight after she had a bad day at work. Because of this, she’s full of regret and self-doubt. It was my decision based on my own shit. I own this. I’m the jerk. Finally, the timing of my decision could not have been worse. I should have been honest about my doubts and fears earlier. I should have figured this out before inviting her to come live with me and certainly before putting ring on her finger. Currently, her tenants are 6 months into a year lease; we are living separately in the same small space until we can figure out a better solution.

    So, if you know [name], please reach out to her. She needs love and comfort now. If you want to help, offer one of us a couch or bed for a few nights. We are both experiencing a need for distance and perspective. This is hard when we are both in the same small condo.

    This is not an apology. I’m not being sarcastic or ironic. This is my hurtful deed. I did it. I’m owning it. I’m the jerk. I’m also resolved in my decision. I think it is the best thing for both of us long term. All that is left to do is accept it, live through it, and move on.

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