I Met The Wife…

…and she is an amazingly kind, generous and loving human being.  I spent months in thrall to a man who was abusing not just one woman, but two.  Have you ever met someone who you know is just plain good to their core?  That’s what Mrs. N was and is.  She’s an amazing human being.

Put aside everything the N did to me.  I was only with him for 15 months.  Mrs. N has been married to him for 26 years.  She has weathered storms I can’t begin to imagine.  TWENTY EFFING SIX YEARS WITH THIS MAN!!!

Just a couple of the storms she has weathered:  About 8 years ago she was finishing up her degree, and had a weekend workshop.  Since she was in remission from cancer at the time, she stopped by the lab on her way to the workshop to have blood drawn and then went merrily on her way down to her class.

Shortly after she got back on the road, sans cell phone, since there wasn’t money for one (at least not one for HER), her doctor called the house and talked to the N. He was told that he needed to contact the facility where his wife was staying, have them gently sit her down and tell her not to move until her husband got there to take her to the hospital.  Why?   She had no platelets.  None.  One bump, bruise or cut and she could bleed to death.

What did hubby do?  Why, nothing, of course.  Mrs. N spent the weekend (thankfully!) not bumping into anything or cutting herself.  She made hit home fine, walked into her house and saw a note on the dining room table.  It read:

“Doc called.  No platelets.”

Mrs. N, who was studying to be a nurse, sat down very gingerly, dialed 911 and waited for the EMTs to show up.

How many different ways can you spell malicious negligence?  There are many more instances of situations very similar to this one, and it wasn’t until Mrs. N met me – at her request, after receiving the letter I sent her – that she began to figure out what her husband really was.

Currently she is being tested for cancer – seems she may have come out of remission.  She has a biopsy scheduled for 4 days before Christmas.  She has an elderly mother who is on a rapid decline and needs 24/7 care.  Guess who provides that care? She has two grown children who are young adults (very early 20′s) who hate their father but who don’t understand why Mom can’t just “leave his dumb ass and just have  FUN, Mom!”  Mom’s dependent upon the N.  She has no income, has been declared disabled by the state…and…

here’s a real kicker for you folks…

While I was involved with the N, I thought his wife was awful.  I swallowed everything he told me about her.  I was being spoon fed.  Turns out the N emotionally bludgeoned his DISABLED wife (who is also eplileptic) into going out to work, FIFTY HOURS A WEEK, so he could support ME.

There’s so much more – and so much more horrifying than what I’ve recounted here.  I’ve decided I’m writing a book.  I’m also going to put a fundraiser online for Mrs. N, once I can figure out how to do it and keep my name out of it.  Her children have been hurt enough – they would have huge issues having ME involved with anything.  I don’t blame them.

If you think you’d donate to the medical and “freedom from narcissism” cause of this woman, could you please post a comment here.  A simple yes or no will be helpful.  Doesn’t appear to be a poll option on this theme. 

Anyway, I’m writing this from work, which I shouldn’t be doing, and if there are typos, please blame my keyboard as we all know I am not responsible for any of my own actions…wait – no – that’s the N.  Sorry.  Return to your regularly scheduled programming…

And while you’re doing it, please have a Narcissist Free Day.  That’s NFD.  LOL.

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3 thoughts on “I Met The Wife…

  1. There is no way to impart this to those who have either not been exposed to one in power over them- or in one of two in a relationship…I know, it is not possible to explain it.

    How do you explain complete cruelty, free of guilt? A person who presents as angelic- who then destroys others as they smear them? Making it impossible for the target to seek help?

    It’s psychopathic & terrorizing.

    My sincerest sympathies for her– and you.

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